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jbsbeautyqueen

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yet another poem i decided to put on the net!!! [Apr. 1st, 2004|10:24 am]
jbsbeautyqueen
[mood |sadsad]
[music |some slow shit music]

I dont know what to say
Now that you left and you gone away
Not knowing the happiest days would wind up turning to be the saddest day
The one who made me so happy in the run made me so blue
We'd talk you made me smile
Just only for awhile
Falling for you in love inside
Kept everything to myself to hide
When I confessed the truth
The outcome was hurtful and much pain
My tears flow like the winter rains
Would have gave you my heart for the rest of my life
Looking to be your girl not yet your wife
Even though I still hurt
You come to me in my mind and I smile
My life goes on knowing that could have been has yet now gone
Yet I wait for someone to find me when all I want is love and the love returned to me
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April Fools' Day [Apr. 1st, 2004|06:21 am]
jbsbeautyqueen
[mood |sadsad]
[music |some jazz playing around]

DarkMagic
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!


Please rate ^^


What kind of dark person are you?
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hi just a small poem to put in my lj [Mar. 31st, 2004|04:55 pm]
jbsbeautyqueen
i decided to add one of my poems in my lj let me know what you guys think okay?


My heart broken in two
What now am I suppose to do?
Missing your bright blue eyes
Everyday having me hypnotized
your smile so warming up my day
now you're here now you're away
I would do anything now just to hear your voice
Feel like I would cringe if I saw you again
What happened we we're good as friends
Trying to pursue that into something much like lovers
You were gone in an instant like a breath on a cold winter's night
you meant everything to me even if it was for only a short while
Fell in love with you on the spot and I tried to push myself on to you
It didnt work out and now i'm left lonely and blue
Wishing you were here to hold me so tight so true
you found another and you are happy
How can I happy for you when i'm the one
who should have been with you?
Love is a funny game if you know how to play it
The feelings I still have for you, will they always stay or is it time to for me to be with another?
All I asked was love and I was in lust
You were my heart that gave you my trust.

what do you think? let me know and please be honest also.
yeah i'm still looking for my lifelong partner if they ever exist out there?? All I want out of life is to be happy and be settled down with that special someone the person to come home to-to hold me when i'm sleeping and to have as a best friend for the rest of our lives together as each other's best friend. I think i would burst out in a well of tears if it indeed will ever happen to me. Tell me am I nuts for speaking the truth out of my heart? I only want what everyone else has in the world and thats love. A little word that deeply means so much to me. I want sex!!!!I hope one day that special someone will be the one for me and sweeps me off of my feet and loves me like the way I would love him
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hi [Mar. 30th, 2004|11:51 am]
jbsbeautyqueen
[mood |sicksick]
[music |saddness by enigma]

how are things in the journal world? nuthing much with me. got a slight cold but thats alright. i took some benadryl last night and it made me sleep but im so congested still. anyways other than that i went to the laundry with anna yesterday and was pretty sick from the hotsauce i had last night with dinner. i was throwing up in the bathroom in mcdonalds. yeah i have to stay away from a few stuff. i have to stay away from dairy also. anyways other than that i am hopefully going to start work soon. yeah i cant wait. anyways i'm so happy that my friend has finally got a livejournal...yeahie... his name is frank and his name on livejournal is frank_da_tank. so everyone say hello. he's a nut but seriously he's a nice guy. anyways other than that i still have to go get my tax papers to do my taxes i dont want to wait until the last minute to do it. then it will take forever for me to get my money. Anyways other than that i guess thats all folks. until next time america!!!!!

April
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hi [Mar. 29th, 2004|03:02 pm]
jbsbeautyqueen
pg
What rating is your journal?

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hey [Mar. 29th, 2004|02:09 am]
jbsbeautyqueen
[mood |nauseatednauseated]
[music |love takes time by mariah carey]

hey whats going on? nuthing much here. just checking my mail and updating this thingy here. anyways my friday night was spent playing trivia pursuit in which of course i was one of the people who didnt win.(i came in last place :() and then on saturday i spent the day just relaxing. Yesterday me and my brother went to the bronx to go see my grandmother(she's in a nursing home out there) yeah she's doing okay-just that she ate some bad fish yesterday and she had bad indigestion. so i called up the place today and spoke to the director and told him if he could replace the fish with something else when they serve it out. yeah other than that today i went to brooklyn today to see about what else i have to do before i can start working. i have to get some papers about my my shots from back in the day. I havent been feeling good for the last few days-i get nausea and then i get these hot and cold flashes. I dont know whats wrong with me. but i'll be glad once i start working again. Anyhows other than that nuthing else is going on. so i'll talk to yaz later...
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hi..... fucking figures i would get this song!!! [Mar. 25th, 2004|02:53 pm]
jbsbeautyqueen
My Immortal
My Immortal.

Your Lyrics



I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me


What Evanescence song are you?
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hello everyone!! [Mar. 25th, 2004|01:46 pm]
jbsbeautyqueen
[mood |hungryhungry]
[music |nuthing. emptiness...]

well hello to all my livejournal friends out there!!! nuthing much here with me. well actually a whole lot has been going on and i'm trying really hard not to think about it right now. even though i have to and get on with my life like i do everyday. I cant wait until i start working again then i wont have this on my mind constantly. I cant wait until i can start buying new things for myself. my friend is trying to get me to wear "colors" instead of wearing the morbid black all the time, hey i dont mind maybe it might actually look nice on me. im not into pink...(hell no)i really have to see for myself. anna will help me out with that. anyways i was doing a lot of thinking over the last couple of weeks-for the first time in my life since whenever-i can actually say i like someone again. yeah i was really heartbroken for a while but this guy is really kewl and everything and it bothers me because from what i hear he's miserable. he is really a nice guy and stuff and he makes you smile when you're down and stuff and cant believe what is going on right now with him. I just want to give him a big bear hug... i know if me and this person get together if it happens one day i know i wont be treated like in the past. I want to get to know him more on a personal basis and find out what he's all about like whats ur favorite color? food? song? all that stuff cause you know that is how you know if you're compatible with that person. it seems like we're both busy on both ends here. (which is perfectly normal i understand)i dont want him to think that i dont want to talk to him or nothing like that if i'm not busy he is and if he's not busy i am. get my drift somewhere here? So until next time america!!!

love yaz,
april
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hey [Mar. 17th, 2004|03:02 pm]
jbsbeautyqueen
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |Afi-silver and cold]

hey whats going on gang? nuthing much up with me. same shit different toliet. anyways so far everything is pretty much the same more doctors more tests. went to the garden with kayla since she went to see wm20(i'm still upset that i didnt get to go still)yeah i got a program and stuff. it was very fucking crowded. i was very upset over the loss of brock lesnar going into professional football. :( yeah but i still have my favorite wrestler still there austin.. (the guy is soo fucking awesome from the first day i met him til now he's still the same)yeah on monday me and anna went to the tanning salon and i got a free tanning. never did i think that i was fine until i took a shower and i was burning. i'm alright now but still i'm a little sore. yeah wm20 was okay it could have been a little bit better if they had stone cold fighting goldberg but it was okay. anyways i have to go for my sonogram on the 24th, and then back to the doctors on the 27th then i'll find out what is wrong with me. i want to get back to work as soon as possible also. anyways other than that i havent been up to much here. so i hope a friend of mine if he's reading this will get a livejournal name already.... ugh!!!

l8er gang
April
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(no subject) [Mar. 12th, 2004|10:59 am]
jbsbeautyqueen
The Lovers Card
You are the Lovers card. The Lovers card is about
union. Each of us carries in our DNA the
ability to be the opposite of what we think we
are. Often our romantic attachments grow out of
awe and respect as we see in another the
characteristics we repress in ourselves.
Society often presses us into molds of what it
thinks masculinity and femininity should be. As
a result, many of us associate with our gender
certain positive characteristics and call
others negative, when if these same qualities
were held by a person of the opposite sex, our
attitude towards them would be reversed.
Getting in touch with our inner animus and
anima, (Jung's terms for our inner male and
female), allows us to see the whole of our
personalities in a positive and constructive
light. When you draw The Lovers card in a
reading, you are working with balancing these
forces. Depending on where the card is, you
have either achieved balance or need to. The
Lovers could indicate a romantic or even a
platonic relationship. Ask yourself is this is
a positive relationship that contributes to
your growth as a complete human being, or if it
fills an emotional craving within you that is
actually detrimental to your personal growth.
Image from: The Iranian artist Riza.
http://www.metmuseum.org/collections/view1.asp?dep=14&item=50%2E164


Which Tarot Card Are You?
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